Well, a monster is a thing you are. Like a cat is always going to do what a cat does, and not worry about it, because that's it's nature. A monster's always going to do certain things because that's it's nature.

You made a decision, and you did something shitty and difficult, and you're still hurting because of it. That's some real people shit. You just had to do it on a really scary, enormous scale.