IC Contact Post

[therushingsky]

"Heyyyy, you've reached the head office of the Atlas Corporation, leave a message and your number, and one of our people will get back to you."

Comments

[beejfu]

So how open is our relationship?

Scale of 1 to 10.

[therushingsky]

[coolly]

Like, three.

Who is it this time?

[beejfu]

This guy, Norton? He's being - whoa - very aggressive right now. I thought we were just having some fun and flirting and he is just. Really taking control here.

I can, uh. Extract myself.

[therushingsky]

Do you want to extract yourself?

[Pause.]

If you want to have a one night stand with the guy then you can. Just try not to go completely ga-ga over him. And don't just do it because he's escalating and you can't conveniently stop.

[beejfu]

[BJ’s face lights up with possibility]

Prostitute rules. I got it.

[therushingsky]

Sure.

And if he tries to pay you rake him over the coals.

[beejfu]

Hell yeah. Pimp me out, Stringbean.

[therushingsky]

I just want you to value yourself as an independent sexy living human, who's time is worth money.

[beejfu]

...Whoa.

I can get MONEY?

From having SEX?

[therushingsky]

I mean-- yeah, but it's kind of a risky, badly run industry--

Also you know what they say about turning your hobby into a job and taking all the fun out of it...

[beejfu]

Risky and badly run? Those are my bylines!

Stringbean, I was a bioexorcist for centuries, I think I can handle a little pay-to-play.

Ooh. Maybe I should be a cam girl.

[therushingsky]

Yeah, but you've only been human for like thirty minutes and so far self preservation doesn't feel like it's at the top of your priorities.

[A L T H O U G H]

You are a born performer though. If you were a camgirl I would definitely-- definitely be blowing my paycheque on you every month.

[beejfu]

[Suuuch a bright and disgusting grin]

That's not all you'd be blowing.

Hey, do you think if you'd be willing to dish out the cash, other people would too? In your world?

[therushingsky]

I mean, you're super hot and there are always people who want to pay for that. So yeah, I think there would be other people. But-- seriously, it's kind of an infamously rough business? If you want to try it back in my world, then just make sure you know that it's cool to change your mind and quit if you end up not liking it.

But, if you want to practice over video message then I am here to support that life choice for you.

[beejfu]

I mean, what even are my other assets besides my smoking hot bod? I can't do anything I could do as a dead guy. And I didn't go to school, I barely can spell my own name. Usually even that takes a running start and two or three tries!

[therushingsky]

You have a million skills! You're charismatic, you're funny, you can sing and dance and rollerskate--

You could be a session musician, or a busker, or a comedian-- hell, you could work in sales if you didn't want to be in showbiz, since you're mad charming.

[beejfu]

Aw, you. Selling me out to the corporate overlords, I love it.

Singing and dancing don't pay the bills or keep the lights on!

[therushingsky]

You could be my slutty secretary.

[THEY JUST COVERED THAT HE CAN'T SPELL THIS IS TRANSPARENTLY A BAD IDEA.]

And they can. It's not a super steady job, but you're really talented. I bet you could make a living off of it.

[beejfu]

I could? Are you offering me a job, Stringbean?

Because I gotta tell you, I make the WORST first impression and if that's okay by you to have me slutting it up in front of all your important business contacts that's fine by me!

[therushingsky]

Yeah, of course!

That's what you call a power move! People show up or call my office, and there's my hot boyfriend in short shorts at the front desk, not super interested in actually taking their messages to me or buzzing them through...

That lets them know that I don't give a damn about their business, which immediately puts me in a strong negotiating position!

[beejfu]

Finally! A job I could be AMAZING at!

Wait, you won't put me on desk duty when I actually have to do work shit, right? Because I have DONE THAT and no thank you.

[therushingsky]

I mean, you'll have a desk, but I'll just-- also have a robot to do the bits of your job that actually need doing and aren't just psyching out my partners and competitors.

[beejfu]

You want me to hit on the ones who are super homophobic? I'm amazing at that too.

[therushingsky]

Sure...

Buuuuuuuut on the condition that you let me superglue a bunch of shielding fields onto you. People are kinda trigger happy in my world.

[beejfu]

Okay yes fine. I'm not gonna complain just because you're being an overprotective BF who's DTF.