IC Contact Post

[therushingsky]

"Heyyyy, you've reached the head office of the Atlas Corporation, leave a message and your number, and one of our people will get back to you."

Comments

[therushingsky]

I mean, you're super hot and there are always people who want to pay for that. So yeah, I think there would be other people. But-- seriously, it's kind of an infamously rough business? If you want to try it back in my world, then just make sure you know that it's cool to change your mind and quit if you end up not liking it.

But, if you want to practice over video message then I am here to support that life choice for you.

[beejfu]

I mean, what even are my other assets besides my smoking hot bod? I can't do anything I could do as a dead guy. And I didn't go to school, I barely can spell my own name. Usually even that takes a running start and two or three tries!

[therushingsky]

You have a million skills! You're charismatic, you're funny, you can sing and dance and rollerskate--

You could be a session musician, or a busker, or a comedian-- hell, you could work in sales if you didn't want to be in showbiz, since you're mad charming.

[beejfu]

Aw, you. Selling me out to the corporate overlords, I love it.

Singing and dancing don't pay the bills or keep the lights on!

[therushingsky]

You could be my slutty secretary.

[THEY JUST COVERED THAT HE CAN'T SPELL THIS IS TRANSPARENTLY A BAD IDEA.]

And they can. It's not a super steady job, but you're really talented. I bet you could make a living off of it.

[beejfu]

I could? Are you offering me a job, Stringbean?

Because I gotta tell you, I make the WORST first impression and if that's okay by you to have me slutting it up in front of all your important business contacts that's fine by me!

[therushingsky]

Yeah, of course!

That's what you call a power move! People show up or call my office, and there's my hot boyfriend in short shorts at the front desk, not super interested in actually taking their messages to me or buzzing them through...

That lets them know that I don't give a damn about their business, which immediately puts me in a strong negotiating position!

[beejfu]

Finally! A job I could be AMAZING at!

Wait, you won't put me on desk duty when I actually have to do work shit, right? Because I have DONE THAT and no thank you.

[therushingsky]

I mean, you'll have a desk, but I'll just-- also have a robot to do the bits of your job that actually need doing and aren't just psyching out my partners and competitors.

[beejfu]

You want me to hit on the ones who are super homophobic? I'm amazing at that too.

[therushingsky]

Sure...

Buuuuuuuut on the condition that you let me superglue a bunch of shielding fields onto you. People are kinda trigger happy in my world.

[beejfu]

Okay yes fine. I'm not gonna complain just because you're being an overprotective BF who's DTF.

[therushingsky]

You're just a really tempting murder target, and I don't want anyone else going for it.

[beejfu]

Accurate but I'm mad about it.

A LITTLE WHILE LATER

[therushingsky]

Hey, so tell me about this new guy. Did you call him Norton?

Re: A LITTLE WHILE LATER

[beejfu]

[BJ answers his phone while tending to a big ol' bruise over his eye]

Yeah, why?

Re: A LITTLE WHILE LATER

[therushingsky]

I'm trying to do that thing where you get off on hearing your lover's gossip. What happened to your eye?

Re: A LITTLE WHILE LATER

[beejfu]

Norton punched me and I got a boner. Kid's a mean right hook.

Re: A LITTLE WHILE LATER

[therushingsky]

Did you ask him to hit you or did he do it trying to hurt you?

Re: A LITTLE WHILE LATER

[beejfu]

I asked him to try and hurt me. So yes, both.

Re: A LITTLE WHILE LATER

[therushingsky]

Okayyyyyyy, back it up babe, start from the beginning. How did you get to asking him to hurt you, and was it sexy at that point, or did you getting punched in the face make it sexy?

Re: A LITTLE WHILE LATER

[beejfu]

You're making this unsexier in retrospect!

Re: A LITTLE WHILE LATER

[therushingsky]

Did you just bang a guy who was physically attacking you?

Re: A LITTLE WHILE LATER

[beejfu]

Oh my god.

Re: A LITTLE WHILE LATER

[therushingsky]

Babe if I'm way off then use your words and tell me?