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[therushingsky]

"Heyyyy, you've reached the head office of the Atlas Corporation, leave a message and your number, and one of our people will get back to you."

Comments

[beejfu]

He hisses, making frantic low noises of stop stop stop whoa stop but Rhys is pulling anyway and, frustrated, BJ finally drops the string in a huff, letting the half-finished game collapse.

"Fuck you, Rhysball." He retorts angrily, getting up off the bed, or trying to. He manages to swing his legs up off the side and stand, but walking sucks so he face-plants onto his own bed next to Rhys'. Leaving him with fingers tied up.

"They won't let me leave this place." He moans pathetically into his pillow. "It's all, 'no, you're death tolling, you have to SIT.' I'm already dead and now the one thing I had going gets ruined because YOU had to wake up."

[therushingsky]

"Yeah well, good. I'm glad I ruined it. Maybe you shouldn't be trying to tie yourself to people you just murdered."

Rhys suggests, waggling his hands free of the string, finally, so that he's free to pull his blanket up around his neck for maximum protection from the elements.

"Oh god this is the worst. I feel like someone locked me in a freezer for six hours."

[beejfu]

"And normally I'd find that hilarious." comes the muffled, defeated tone of the planking demon.

"But I'm hurting too and it feels like I've just turned 35 for the second time and I wanna get out of here and Sideburns and co. won't let me leave. Talk to them, they're your people!"

[therushingsky]

"I'm not helping you, and if you sneak out I'm summoning you back."

Rhys answers, archly, from his walnut whip of blankets.

"I told you not to mess with me. I warned you, dude."

Because this is what you get! Your cat's cradle ruined and your bed neighbour in the infirmary plotting against you.

[beejfu]

He twists around to give Rhys an incredulous look.

"You would summon me on purpose? Whoa, kid. Didn't think you'd want me around after all that demotion crap."

[therushingsky]

"It's not that I want you around, I just-- wait, what do you mean?"

Rhys asks, squinting at Betelgeuse mistrustfully from his blankets,

"What demotion crap?"

[beejfu]

"Wow. That's hurtful." He scolds Rhys, facing him by turning around on his back and lying upside down on the bed.

"Yeah, some crap the docs here were saying. About how wardens usually wake up and they thought you were in for a long nap. Wasn't really paying attention. Too busy stacking pennies on your open tongue until they caught me at it."

[therushingsky]

"You're hurtful."

Rhys counters, but without any real force behind it. Like a kid who just can't be bothered to think of a better comeback.
He shakes his head, forehead scrunched up unhappily,

"And no, that's not-- look, the Admiral screws things up all the time. Death toll included. This is just some stupid clerical error..."

He can't be demoted. He didn't do anything.

Or, nothing he feels guilty about at least.

[beejfu]

He leers at Rhys, basking in his unhappiness, going silent for a little while before the awkward silence becomes too much to bear.

"Well, you did kill me. And that's apparently a big No-No with the big guy. Even if it was totally hilarious. I respect that."

[therushingsky]

"Whaaaaaaaaat? No, I didn't-- what? Killed you? No..."

The spluttered denials of a guy who definitely killed you. Rhys slides lower in his bed, forehead knitting a little more tightly.

"I was way overboard and you were completely fine up there. I didn't kill you. You probably just fell. Accidentally."

Rhys didn't actually see Betelgeuse fall so it can't have been his fault.

[beejfu]

"Uh. Rhysball? I know what death is. And I know what possession feels like, thanks to you, you adorable little psychopath." He climbs out of bed to pat Rhys on the head.

"Check it out, Rhys; now we're both inmates."

[therushingsky]

"I am not a psychopath, and I am not an inmate!"

He lifts a hand out of the safety of the blankets to push Betelgeuse's hand away, only to get the remnants of the cats cradle that's still half wound through his fingers hooked on the demon's cufflink.

"Even if I did-- in self defense, undertake certain actions that led to your death-- I'm not-- Come on, this literally happened while you were murdering me, he's not going to demote me for fighting back a little."

Oh god damn it he's too tired to untangle these stupid threads.

[beejfu]

He holds up his arm, eyeing the tangle of threads between the two of them, smirking at it and then back at Rhys.

"Well, if you're sure, I guess I can't convince you otherwise. It'll be MUCH more gratifying watching you figure it out on your own. Sexually speaking."

[therushingsky]

Rhys wiggles his fingers again, still trying to dislodge the threads.

"Yeah, well, apologies in advance for the blue balls when you find out I'm still a-- okay you know what? Just keep it."

He's just going to let his hand go limp. Let them stay tied together, see if he cares.

"It's not like it's my cool arm, anyway."

[beejfu]

"Wow, you are...really good at denial. Shockingly so, Rhys-ball." He starts to pick at the threads on his cufflink.

"Anyway, it's been a day and a half soooo I'll just be going. I'm so BORED here. Call me when you find out you're an inmate too."

[therushingsky]

"I think you'll find that what I'm shockingly good at is actually-- well, there are a bunch of things, but being a warden is one of them."

Rhys leaves the demon to the task of unpicking the threads, and retrieves his communicator from the bedside cabinet.

He begins typing out a crucially important if somewhat late message to the Admiral, affecting a very deliberately crafted attitude of total disinterest in Betelgeuse.

"Later dude. Try not to possess anyone else."

[beejfu]

Betelgeuse does not like to be ignored, but he rolls his eyes and frees them up. He has a date with a bottle of purple hair dye anyway. Rather be there than here.

"Yeah, I bet." He grumbles, wracking his brain for what Rhys is good at as he stumbles, half-dead, to the infirmary door.

"Hey, Rhys?"

He asks, waiting for the other to turn to him, so he can flip the guy off.

"Blowjobs. That's what you're good at. I'm outtie."

Begone, thot!

[therushingsky]

Rhys gives Betelgeuse six minutes, which feels like just long enough for him to have gotten an inconveniently good distance away, before throwing out:

"Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice."

Get back here, thot.

Then he immediately goes back to arguing with the Admiral.

[beejfu]

"-So she was all, 'You'll wake up my sister!" and I said "I WANT to wake your sister!' and that is how I banged all three of the Brontës."

He blinks. Looks around. Gives Rhys a complete withering expression.

"WHAT. Kind of in the MIDDLE of something, Rhys!"

[therushingsky]

"Hmm?"

Rhys looks up from his communicator, trying very hard to look completely innocent and not like a man who's just been told that he's simultaneously fired and arrested,

"Oh, hey, BJ! Kinda didn't see you there... but, y'know, as a warden - which I obviously still am - it is kinda my job to make sure you, uh--"

Stay in the place where you're bored and annoyed for no reason other than to bore and annoy you?

"Rest up from that death toll, huh champ?"

[beejfu]

"Well, uh." He seems confused that Rhys managed to escape demotion, but goes along with it for now.

"You literally just killed me so I'm pretty sure that your job is not to do that and I was right in the middle of something."

He directs a thumb out the infirmary door.

"You know. My Brontësaurus story. Plus I feel like the death toll all the time ever since I turned 30 and my knees went out sooooo. No rest when you're dead, am I right? I'll be going now."

[therushingsky]

"Yeah well- I don't know about killing you, that doesn't sound like it was my fault..."

Says Rhys, carefully typing out a string of abusive texts and still not looking at Betegeuse.

"But, I get it. You have stuff to do. That's fair."

[beejfu]

He narrows his eyes. There's something he's missing here.

"You just want me to leave so you can call me back here. You punk little asshole."

[therushingsky]

Rhys finally puts down his communicator, nestles down in his bed and yawns.

"Hey, you might not need the rest, but I feel like absolute hell. If you're fine, you're fine, whatever, but I'm not going to keep myself awake just to mess with you."

[beejfu]

He watches Rhys settle down with equal parts suspicion and confusion. This is not how his encounters usually go.

Finally, BJ points at Rhys in his snuggle bed.

"You summon me back here and I'll kill you again. Probably with medical equipment, I don't know. Then you'll be double-dead, Stringbean."

BJ sets his hand down again.

"K bye."

He walks out to go see about getting his hair dyed.