[Sharply, wistfully wry. But he's being selfish over the clones. He wants them for him, he always wanted children, he's going to have a million and all he has to do is steal them and rewrite history.]
They aren't - exactly -
[He shakes his head.]
Nevermind. Sure. Where?
[He mostly figures Rhys is finally going to punch him after all, but whatever. Sure. Fine.]
[Rhys's door opens, and he's there. A little red eyed and weary looking.]
Hey.
[He gives Jedao a whole ten seconds to get used to that, before Rhys takes a step forward and just-- wraps one arm around his shoulders, pulling him into a tight hug.]
[Jedao looks...tired, and sad. His eyes aren't red but his shoulders sag a little under his uniform. He waits like he's bracing for something.
When the hug comes, he's still for a moment of pure surprise, then melts into it, tucks his face into the crook of Rhys's neck, arms coming up to cling back tightly. He takes slow, deep breaths as he holds on, not quite letting himself shudder.]
I'm sorry for...calling you things.
[Even if he hadn't meant Rhys specifically, or Rhys as a person, with all of them - well, all the more reason to apologize.]
[It's cool, Rhys can shudder for both of them, because they just had a roaring argument about the fate of billions of lives, and he absolutely doesn't feel qualified to be making some of the decisions he's been making here.
But whatever. Better egoism than apathy, right?]
I'm sorry your home world jacked you up so bad.
[Mumbled into Jedao's shoulder.]
You're not a monster, man.
[oh god damn it, is he crying? He's such a wuss. The only redeeming fact is that Jedao can't see.]
[Jedao manages to stop clinging with one hand long enough to stroke a slow, soothing hand down Rhys's back, even as he takes a hitching, wavering sort of breath, followed by a raggedy sigh.]
Just a fucking psycho then?
The word doesn't matter. I'm not....good. No one has to be delicate about it.
Who's delicate, dude? I'm saying-- look, yeah, so I don't think it's good, but like--
[Ugh, how to say this in a way that won't start them both fighting again?]
It's like, that lever thing, right? You're on a train, and the train's going to crash, unless you pull the lever to put it onto a different track. But if you pull the lever, it's going to run some people down. And-- there isn't a right answer. Like, that's the point. Then, the second part of the question is: What if someone you love is on the train?
[All of this is muttered into Jedao's shoulder.]
Might be Psycho, but it's a really normal kind of psycho. Especially when it's kids.
[He wouldn't. He didn't. He killed everyone, fucking up the scenario.
He goes a little bit stiff, even as his hands clutch fistfuls of Rhys's clothes. It sounds awful and narcissistic, I'm not like the rest of you. But before Fives, he was so, so alone.]
I don't understand why you're so invested in this word.
Well, a monster is a thing you are. Like a cat is always going to do what a cat does, and not worry about it, because that's it's nature. A monster's always going to do certain things because that's it's nature.
You made a decision, and you did something shitty and difficult, and you're still hurting because of it. That's some real people shit. You just had to do it on a really scary, enormous scale.
no subject
Date: 2019-01-18 05:40 am (UTC)[Sharply, wistfully wry. But he's being selfish over the clones. He wants them for him, he always wanted children, he's going to have a million and all he has to do is steal them and rewrite history.]
They aren't - exactly -
[He shakes his head.]
Nevermind. Sure. Where?
[He mostly figures Rhys is finally going to punch him after all, but whatever. Sure. Fine.]
no subject
Date: 2019-01-18 05:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-01-18 05:57 am (UTC)See you soon, Rhys.
[It's a few minutes before he knocks.]
Spam
Date: 2019-01-18 06:13 am (UTC)Hey.
[He gives Jedao a whole ten seconds to get used to that, before Rhys takes a step forward and just-- wraps one arm around his shoulders, pulling him into a tight hug.]
I'm sorry for shouting at you.
Spam
Date: 2019-01-18 06:32 am (UTC)When the hug comes, he's still for a moment of pure surprise, then melts into it, tucks his face into the crook of Rhys's neck, arms coming up to cling back tightly. He takes slow, deep breaths as he holds on, not quite letting himself shudder.]
I'm sorry for...calling you things.
[Even if he hadn't meant Rhys specifically, or Rhys as a person, with all of them - well, all the more reason to apologize.]
Spam
Date: 2019-01-18 12:31 pm (UTC)But whatever. Better egoism than apathy, right?]
I'm sorry your home world jacked you up so bad.
[Mumbled into Jedao's shoulder.]
You're not a monster, man.
[oh god damn it, is he crying? He's such a wuss. The only redeeming fact is that Jedao can't see.]
Spam
Date: 2019-01-18 05:59 pm (UTC)Just a fucking psycho then?
The word doesn't matter. I'm not....good. No one has to be delicate about it.
Spam
Date: 2019-01-20 12:12 am (UTC)[Ugh, how to say this in a way that won't start them both fighting again?]
It's like, that lever thing, right? You're on a train, and the train's going to crash, unless you pull the lever to put it onto a different track. But if you pull the lever, it's going to run some people down. And-- there isn't a right answer. Like, that's the point. Then, the second part of the question is: What if someone you love is on the train?
[All of this is muttered into Jedao's shoulder.]
Might be Psycho, but it's a really normal kind of psycho. Especially when it's kids.
Re: Spam
Date: 2019-01-20 12:21 am (UTC)You have to kill the guy laying the train tracks, obviously.
[Which is easier to say than I put everyone I loved on the train just to get to the switch.]
If there's no right answer, you have to change the question.
Spam
Date: 2019-01-20 12:41 am (UTC)[Because everyone would pull the switch if they loved the people on the trolley.]
Just, regular bad like the rest of us.
Spam
Date: 2019-01-20 02:23 am (UTC)He goes a little bit stiff, even as his hands clutch fistfuls of Rhys's clothes. It sounds awful and narcissistic, I'm not like the rest of you. But before Fives, he was so, so alone.]
I don't understand why you're so invested in this word.
Spam
Date: 2019-01-23 01:17 am (UTC)Feels very-- locked in, a word like that.
[He feels Jedao tense, and lifts a hand to rub in slow, reassuring circles on the other man's back, trying to soothe away some ember of his distress.]
Spam
Date: 2019-01-25 03:22 am (UTC)Why?
Spam
Date: 2019-02-03 03:27 am (UTC)You made a decision, and you did something shitty and difficult, and you're still hurting because of it. That's some real people shit. You just had to do it on a really scary, enormous scale.
Re: Spam
Date: 2019-02-04 06:51 am (UTC)[Truculent mumbling more than real argument.]
People are animals too. We have natures. Some parts of people are terrible.