IC Contact Post

[therushingsky]

"Heyyyy, you've reached the head office of the Atlas Corporation, leave a message and your number, and one of our people will get back to you."

Comments

[tetractys]

WHAT AM I, A SNITCH?

ANYWAY, I THINK WHAT YOU NEED IS A PLAN. PLANS DON'T ALWAYS WORK, BUT AT LEAST THEY'RE SOMETHING!

[there are few things bill cipher finds more comforting than a good meticulous plan]

[therushingsky]

If you snitch on a snitch I'm pretty sure that makes you, like--

A reliable lieutenant or something. I'm not sure what the hierarchy of our criminal organisation is.

Yeah? I was thinking I might crack and try and force Goodsir to be my warden. He seems like he'd be good at it.

[tetractys]

IT'S NOT A BAD IDEA! HE'S UNPAIRED, JUST GO COZY UP! TAKE AN INTEREST, LAUGH AT HIS JOKES! WEAR SOMETHING THAT SAYS 'MISGUIDED BUT DESERVES BETTER!' MAYBE DRESS LIKE A RAPSCALLION ORPHAN.

[therushingsky]

I am technically a rapscallion orphan.

[He's just a nearly thirty year old rapscallion.]

I was thinking I'd just come on super strong with him. He seems like he'd like that.

[tetractys]

YEAH, WATCH HIS WHOLE FACE RETREAT INTO HIS SIDEBURNS LIKE A TURTLE!

BUT SERIOUSLY, IF YOU WANT YOUR ODDS TO GO UP, YOU WANT A PAIRING. WE HAVE TWENTY TWO UNSORTED WARDENS. LET'S DO THE BORING WORK, HUH? GO DOWN THE LIST. GET SOMETHING CONCRETE DONE.

[therushingsky]

Yeah. That's actually a pretty good approach.

I'm serious about going after Goodsir. He seems like a nice guy, but also I don't really mind if I drive him so crazy that he can't stand me anymore.

[People he likes? Nope. People he actively hates? Also nope. The warden that Rhys will hand pick needs to land in the sweet spot of people that he has total ambivalence towards. ]

[tetractys]

BUDDY, THE IDEA IS NOT TO DRIVE YOUR WARDEN CRAZY. THINK ABOUT YOU AND HUX, YOU GUYS ARE BEST FRIENDS NOW!

OKAY, GOODSIR ON THE LIST. ALPHABETICALLY, GIMME YOUR THOUGHTS ON ARTHUR MORGAN WITH THE COWBOY HAT, BUCKY, STEVE'S MAIN SQUEEZE, AND BUFFY WITH THE WEIRD GRAMMAR.

I'M SKIPPING ARCHER, UNLESS IT'S ONE OF THOSE THINGS WHERE YOU HATE HIM BUT THERE'S ALSO UNRESOLVED TENSION BECAUSE HE IS SO PRETTY AND KISSABLE.

[therushingsky]

Yeah, but we started out with him hitting me in the head with a statue and me holding his cabin door shut so he couldn't kick my ass.

[He went all in on Hux, but Hux didn't care if Rhys didn't approve of him. That gave them both freedom to maneuver.]

Arthur and Buffy were both okay temps. Maybe not Bucky. I don't know how things are going to shake out with Betelgeuse and Steve.

[And they're also safely in the neutral zone, where any good warden belongs.]

(vague gender assuming, sorry Juno)

[tetractys]

EXACTLY! YOU'LL GET THERE AT THE END NO MATTER WHO DIES!

I'M ALSO ASKING ABOUT HOW YOU'D FEEL ABOUT TALKING TO THEM EVERY SINGLE DAY ABOUT REALLY PERSONAL PROBLEMS! BECAUSE YOU WILL! YOU HAVE TO.

OKAY, NEXT THREE. FITZ, IRIS'S FRIEND, GORTYS, AND JUNO! WHO I THINK IS THE REALLY TIRED GUY WITH THE EYE PATCH? I'VE NEVER HEARD HIM TALK!

(More vague gender assuming, sorry Juno)

[therushingsky]

Urghh--

Okay, I guess Buffy and Arthur are still fine, for the personal. Fitz seems okay too. Hard no to Gortys.

Juno--

[Pauuuuse.]

Too hot. Getting all confessional with him would be a slippery slope for me.

[tetractys]

SOME PEOPLE SLEEP WITH THEIR WARDENS!

[Is it a good idea? Probably not. Is it a strategy that you could employ if you wanted to? Yes!]

OH WAIT, HE'S ALREADY HOOKED UP WITH THAT GUY WHO WEARS THE GREAT LIPSTICK. ... WELL, THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT YOU DON'T HAVE A CHANCE IN HELL, RHYS!

[:D bill hates peter nureyev, objectively the hottest person on this ship :D not even his type :D they've never had a conversation without someone getting hit :D]

OKAY, SO LARK TENNANT, MARTIN - THE GUY WITH THE LITTLE QUIET VOICE THAT JON'S SEEING - AND NICK WITH THE HAWAIIAN SHIRTS.

[therushingsky]

Oh-- yeah, cross him off the list then. Lipstick guy would definitely kill me after I successfully sleep with his boyfriend.

[WHICH RHYS IS FULLY CONFIDENT HE COULD AND WOULD DO.]

Lark yes. Martin-- Potential reverse Juno problem in case Betelgeuse ever successfully sleeps with him, so no. Nick-- Ehh. Maybe.

[tetractys]

WHAT, B WILL SLEEP WITH MARTIN AND JON WILL FINALLY SNAP AND GO ON A RAMPAGE, KILLING NOT JUST YOU BUT ALSO RAMPAGING THROUGH THE CAFETERIA WITH A MEAT TENDERIZER AND A SYRINGE FULL OF DEADLY SNAKE VENOM?

BECAUSE NOW I WANT YOU TO DO IT FOR JUST THAT REASON!

OR DO YOU MEAN IT'D BE WEIRD IF YOU AND YOUR WARDEN SLEPT WITH THE SAME GUY?

[therushingsky]

I know this isn't the best look on me, but I'm pretty sure I'd get weird and competitive about it. Eventually someone else is going to notice that he's hot and get it, and I'm going to be a dick to them, and that person needs to not be my warden.

[tetractys]

OHHH, HAHAHAHA. YEAH, PROBABLY!

OKAY, OKAY. NICO, REAL QUIET KID, TESLA THAT RUNS THE BAR, AND RICHIE, THE NEW GUY.

[therushingsky]

Ahh... I really can't get a bead on that Nico kid. Or Tesla, actually. I could work with the new guy, though.

[tetractys]

REALLY SMART BUT REALLY SAD. TERRIFIED OF PEOPLE, THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T SEE HIM! I LIKE HIM, HE'S HAD A ROUGH DEAL. I THINK YOU MIGHT BOWL HIM RIGHT OVER!

OKAY. SAND, SPIKE THE VAMPIRE, I'm vetoing this next guy completely, AND TAURA!

[therushingsky]

Aw. Yeah, I don't want someone vulnerable, that's too much pressure.

Not Taura, she's too nice to see my file. Sand's fine, Not Spike.

I don't like his hair.

[tetractys]

NOBODY LIKES HIS HAIR!

THOMAS BLANKY, THE OLD TIMEY GUY, TIFFANY, AND TUP, WHICH IS FIVES' BROTHER BUT THE ONE THAT'S CONFUSED INSTEAD OF THE ONE THAT'S LOUD!

[therushingsky]

Uh.

Out of those, I'll take Tiffany. She's pretty legit, and I don't think I can live with someone who looks identical to Fives.

[tetractys]

I THINK YOU SHOULD SERIOUSLY CONSIDER SNAPPING HER UP BEFORE SOMEONE ELSE DOES, SHE SEEMS LIKE SHE'D BE GREAT. OUR LAST TWO ARE WOLF, AND SOME GUY I'VE NEVER EVEN HEARD OF. WADE TILLMAN?

[therushingsky]

Ehh, I don't think I know either of them.

[He's spoken to Wade a couple of times, but doesn't remember his name at all.]

And yeah, we've had a couple of really stupid arguments, but if I had the authority to fire wardens, I'd like... promote her.

[tetractys]

ALRIGHT, SO WE'RE NARROWING THE LIST DOWN! GOODSIR, ARTHUR, BUFFY, FITZ, LARK, MAYBE NICK, NEW GUY RICHIE, SAND, AND TIFFANY. DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE? MAYBE A TOP FIVE?

I THINK YOU AND LARK MIGHT WORK PRETTY WELL. YOU BOTH THINK THIS PLACE IS SKETCHY!

[therushingsky]

Yeah. I guess-- Lark, Buffy, Tiffany are probably my top three.

Yeah, Lark is probably the only person who's actually my friend that I'd be okay with having a file on me.

[tetractys]

THIS SUCKS. BELIEVE ME, I KNOW. THIS PART'S PROBABLY GOING TO BE HUMILIATING.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? THEY NEED SOMETHING TOO. THEY NEED AN INMATE. MAKE THEM SELL TO YOU.