IC Contact Post

[therushingsky]

"Heyyyy, you've reached the head office of the Atlas Corporation, leave a message and your number, and one of our people will get back to you."

Comments

(vague gender assuming, sorry Juno)

[tetractys]

EXACTLY! YOU'LL GET THERE AT THE END NO MATTER WHO DIES!

I'M ALSO ASKING ABOUT HOW YOU'D FEEL ABOUT TALKING TO THEM EVERY SINGLE DAY ABOUT REALLY PERSONAL PROBLEMS! BECAUSE YOU WILL! YOU HAVE TO.

OKAY, NEXT THREE. FITZ, IRIS'S FRIEND, GORTYS, AND JUNO! WHO I THINK IS THE REALLY TIRED GUY WITH THE EYE PATCH? I'VE NEVER HEARD HIM TALK!

(More vague gender assuming, sorry Juno)

[therushingsky]

Urghh--

Okay, I guess Buffy and Arthur are still fine, for the personal. Fitz seems okay too. Hard no to Gortys.

Juno--

[Pauuuuse.]

Too hot. Getting all confessional with him would be a slippery slope for me.

[tetractys]

SOME PEOPLE SLEEP WITH THEIR WARDENS!

[Is it a good idea? Probably not. Is it a strategy that you could employ if you wanted to? Yes!]

OH WAIT, HE'S ALREADY HOOKED UP WITH THAT GUY WHO WEARS THE GREAT LIPSTICK. ... WELL, THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT YOU DON'T HAVE A CHANCE IN HELL, RHYS!

[:D bill hates peter nureyev, objectively the hottest person on this ship :D not even his type :D they've never had a conversation without someone getting hit :D]

OKAY, SO LARK TENNANT, MARTIN - THE GUY WITH THE LITTLE QUIET VOICE THAT JON'S SEEING - AND NICK WITH THE HAWAIIAN SHIRTS.

[therushingsky]

Oh-- yeah, cross him off the list then. Lipstick guy would definitely kill me after I successfully sleep with his boyfriend.

[WHICH RHYS IS FULLY CONFIDENT HE COULD AND WOULD DO.]

Lark yes. Martin-- Potential reverse Juno problem in case Betelgeuse ever successfully sleeps with him, so no. Nick-- Ehh. Maybe.

[tetractys]

WHAT, B WILL SLEEP WITH MARTIN AND JON WILL FINALLY SNAP AND GO ON A RAMPAGE, KILLING NOT JUST YOU BUT ALSO RAMPAGING THROUGH THE CAFETERIA WITH A MEAT TENDERIZER AND A SYRINGE FULL OF DEADLY SNAKE VENOM?

BECAUSE NOW I WANT YOU TO DO IT FOR JUST THAT REASON!

OR DO YOU MEAN IT'D BE WEIRD IF YOU AND YOUR WARDEN SLEPT WITH THE SAME GUY?

[therushingsky]

I know this isn't the best look on me, but I'm pretty sure I'd get weird and competitive about it. Eventually someone else is going to notice that he's hot and get it, and I'm going to be a dick to them, and that person needs to not be my warden.

[tetractys]

OHHH, HAHAHAHA. YEAH, PROBABLY!

OKAY, OKAY. NICO, REAL QUIET KID, TESLA THAT RUNS THE BAR, AND RICHIE, THE NEW GUY.

[therushingsky]

Ahh... I really can't get a bead on that Nico kid. Or Tesla, actually. I could work with the new guy, though.

[tetractys]

REALLY SMART BUT REALLY SAD. TERRIFIED OF PEOPLE, THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T SEE HIM! I LIKE HIM, HE'S HAD A ROUGH DEAL. I THINK YOU MIGHT BOWL HIM RIGHT OVER!

OKAY. SAND, SPIKE THE VAMPIRE, I'm vetoing this next guy completely, AND TAURA!

[therushingsky]

Aw. Yeah, I don't want someone vulnerable, that's too much pressure.

Not Taura, she's too nice to see my file. Sand's fine, Not Spike.

I don't like his hair.

[tetractys]

NOBODY LIKES HIS HAIR!

THOMAS BLANKY, THE OLD TIMEY GUY, TIFFANY, AND TUP, WHICH IS FIVES' BROTHER BUT THE ONE THAT'S CONFUSED INSTEAD OF THE ONE THAT'S LOUD!

[therushingsky]

Uh.

Out of those, I'll take Tiffany. She's pretty legit, and I don't think I can live with someone who looks identical to Fives.

[tetractys]

I THINK YOU SHOULD SERIOUSLY CONSIDER SNAPPING HER UP BEFORE SOMEONE ELSE DOES, SHE SEEMS LIKE SHE'D BE GREAT. OUR LAST TWO ARE WOLF, AND SOME GUY I'VE NEVER EVEN HEARD OF. WADE TILLMAN?

[therushingsky]

Ehh, I don't think I know either of them.

[He's spoken to Wade a couple of times, but doesn't remember his name at all.]

And yeah, we've had a couple of really stupid arguments, but if I had the authority to fire wardens, I'd like... promote her.

[tetractys]

ALRIGHT, SO WE'RE NARROWING THE LIST DOWN! GOODSIR, ARTHUR, BUFFY, FITZ, LARK, MAYBE NICK, NEW GUY RICHIE, SAND, AND TIFFANY. DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE? MAYBE A TOP FIVE?

I THINK YOU AND LARK MIGHT WORK PRETTY WELL. YOU BOTH THINK THIS PLACE IS SKETCHY!

[therushingsky]

Yeah. I guess-- Lark, Buffy, Tiffany are probably my top three.

Yeah, Lark is probably the only person who's actually my friend that I'd be okay with having a file on me.

[tetractys]

THIS SUCKS. BELIEVE ME, I KNOW. THIS PART'S PROBABLY GOING TO BE HUMILIATING.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? THEY NEED SOMETHING TOO. THEY NEED AN INMATE. MAKE THEM SELL TO YOU.

It's too late 4 me

[therushingsky]

I don't know, dude. I think playing to egos and bleeding hearts might be the way for me. I've already kind of fucked my brand for people who want an easy ride, or people who want an inmate who can play it like they didn't know any better.

Betelgeuse might be a murderer, but he's an emotional needy murderer who's desperate for friendship. I'm-- not sure that I'm as pitchable.

[Maybe he should target wardens who seem like they'll sleep with him. Maybe that's a strategy...]

[tetractys]

BUT THESE THREE AREN'T GOING TO WANT EITHER OF THOSE!

TIFFANY PROBABLY WANTS SOMEONE THAT NEEDS HELP, BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T GET A FAIR CHANCE. YOU CAN PLAY THAT ANGLE. LARK WANTS SOMEONE HE CAN SCREW THE SYSTEM WITH. AND BUFFY, EH, I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS. GO FIGHT A MONSTER WITH HER, THAT SHOULD WORK.

[therushingsky]

I can do that. Kinda. Gortys does this thing when she has all her parts where she becomes giant and summons a giant monster and then fights it, and we all kinda got in on that.

[Hmm.]

We should do a speed dating thing. Obviously for me, but maybe we could open it up.

[Always be Instigating. Events events events events events!]

[tetractys]

SURE! BUT LET'S NOT OVER-COMPLICATE THIS. NEXT TIME YOU'RE UP FOR IT, JUST GO TALK TO ONE OF THEM ABOUT WHAT THEIR IDEA OF REDEEMING AN INMATE IS GOING TO BE LIKE.